A lesson from pilates.
Today I had a panic attack during pilates because I was struggling to breath under the mask. One thing I know though, is that this is my issue to deal with and no-one else’s. So I worked out what I needed to do to feel safe and well and did it.
Many things in life are like this. Something happens, maybe we feel crap because of what someone said or did, but you know what, over the years I’ve learnt that my response to that is my responsibility. I’ve also learnt that maybe, just maybe, there’s a kernel of truth in what was said to me and I need to actually listen to what they are saying and take responsibility for that too and deal with it constructively.
Too many times I see people convinced of their own rightness in a situation and feel like they have to defend it at all costs instead of listening to the other person to really understand what they are trying to say.
If we struggle with communication and lets face it , at times we all do, then this may be the real issue. We want people to hear us and respect us, but are unwilling to hear others out or give them the same respect.
To really communicate, learning to actually listen, even when you don’t like what you are hearing, is vital because otherwise we only surround ourselves with people who will pat us on the back and not challenge us to grow and change. We can disagree with someone and yet still build positive relationships with them.
I would suggest that if we are never challenged to grow then we need to find people who’s ideas are different to ours, who ‘s ideas challenge us, so that we become well rounded and able to think critically about situations and ideas rather than sit happy in our own delusions.
Jill